Before I finish off my 52 week photography project, I wanted to take some time to reflect on 2016. I absolutely love spending time getting ready for the new year and although I'm not resolution orientated, I do love the idea of renewed motivation and another year to keep bettering myself as an individual. 

I read these questions from a post over on The Art of Simple, and thought I'd share my answers here on my blog. 

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

I can't pinpoint one event, but I got engaged, turned 30 and became a Mum to a beautiful little pug puppy all around the same time. I had been waiting for a pug for around 15 years!

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Again, not a single event but I can trace a lot of my "busyness" down to a date: August, when we moved house. That was when my backlog began. I had only been working at my new day job for a handful of months, Dan had just started his new job and we unexpectedly moved houses. Up until this point, life was smooth sailing, my routines were good, I was exercising and eating right, the volume of my anxiety was barely audible. I was working nearly full time hours at my day job while editing/photographing on the side and from all that stress I became sick for just over two weeks. Not just a little cough and a bit of a cold - completely bed ridden-couldn't move for days sick. I took way too much on in the second half of this year and I am still trying to recover from it.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Road tripping out to the country! Dan and I did a few trips this year, one to photograph a wedding, another to visit a zoo and one for his sisters wedding. I didn't think much of the trips to begin with as my mind was very much on just getting to the destination. But the trips themselves, especially with the company of Dan were brilliant. We packed picnics, relaxed in parks under Autumn trees, ate gelato by a beach, and enjoyed long and memorable conversations, sometimes about nothing in particular. Most of the time we didn't even plug in the iPod we were too busy talking!

What was an unexpected obstacle?

I thought I had finished getting through some past traumas (this is lolworthy in the world of self development) but realised towards the end of the year that every day is a new learning and growing experience. And that personal growth and development is never ending, it doesn't stop and it shouldn't stop. I constantly forget and have issues with memory (hence why I document everything with photos and journaling and I'm always writing lists) and because of this, I forget where I've come from and what I've been through. I am still learning that recovery and self development is a slow and gradual process over a long period of time, and that period of time can be a couple of months for some people or in my case, many years. 

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Progressive, fulfilling and loving.

Pick three words your partner would use to describe your year—don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you.

Challenging, fulfilling and adventurous.

What were the best books you read this year?

I actually failed my Goodreads reading challenge of reading 25 books (I was on track to finish but by mid 2016 I started to fall behind and only finished up on 9 books).

I continued my love affair with Kate Morton and consumed The Secret Keeper quite quickly, I couldn't put it down! I gave it 5 stars.

The Distant Hours by Kate Morton was also another excellent read and I gave it 4 stars. Her style and genre of writing suits me exactly and I think I will have to buy all her books as physical copies to keep and re-read.

George Orwell's Animal Farm has been on my to-read list for many years. To be completely honest it's one of the most depressive reads I've ever encountered and it left me feeling quite hopeless and empty, but it is brilliant and such an important story. I would recommend it to anyone. 5 stars.

Who were your most valuable relationships with?

Dan, my fiancé and Emma, my sister. Dan and I's relationship is still growing and it has changed slightly, or maybe evolved is the better term. I feel like we have both matured quite a bit since we first started off nearly four years ago. We got passed a major hurdle in 2015 and now talk very intimately with each other, nice conversations and the not-so-nice conversations. It has definitely made us better people and has helped bring out the best in each other.

I have helped my sister out by allowing her to live with Dan and I for a few months. We helped pull her out of an awful situation and she is now rebuilding her life from scratch. When we were young we hated each other (there is a six year age difference between us) but now we get along well and help each other out. She is very important to me and I care about her a whole lot.

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Trying to accept that things are never perfect and that I am a chronic overachiever and perfectionist. Not being busy is okay and it is not a sign of weakness or being lazy. I don't have to constantly prove myself to everyone all the time.

In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I guess there isn't one single thing, but just learning to express myself and talk about my feelings in a healthy way. For many, many years I would minimize and internalize my problems, feelings, thoughts and it would grow and fester under the surface into a big ball of grossness. For many different reasons I did this (and still sometimes do) but it is an excruciatingly long and slow process to undo and change habits and core beliefs I have deep within myself.

In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

Not entirely sure how to answer this one as I am very atheist and I don't really believe in new age beliefs either. But I do live my life in a way where I practice love, compassion and tolerance. I try to make a conscious effort every day to love the people around me, to treat them nicely and to tolerate some as much as I can (customers at work come to mind with this one :P). This year I really tried to become more patient with everyone and everything around me (perfectionism kills patience) and I would say that I have definitely become better at it.

In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I kept up with my gym routines and exercise. There were periods of time where it went out the window, but as soon as I was able and healthy again I got straight back into it. I think with exercise and eating well you really have to be kind to yourself. If you beat yourself up and start the negative talk in your head, you will just dig yourself deeper into the emotional-eating-binge-cycle that I feel a lot of people in the world suffer from. There were many times this year where I just said, "Fuck it, I'm getting a cheeseburger." when multiple things have gone wrong in the day. But then you just accept that it happened and say to yourself, "Okay just try again at the next meal." or "Tomorrow is a brand new day, try again tomorrow." The most important part is you get back into it, it's consistency not perfection.

What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Making friends with my co-workers, being part of a team, feeling like we're in it together! 

When I'm photographing I love developing relationships with my clients and helping them, and actually clicking the button and photographing is my favourite part of the business.

What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

My day job is physically exhausting as I work in a warehouse. I am covered in bruises most days and I am incredibly tired when I come home from work, both physically and mentally as it's a fast-pased environment. I do very much enjoy the challenge and my days go super quick, but I don't think I will be there forever (certainly not when I'm elderly with a bunch of joint problems!).

Photography I have a love/hate relationship with. The parts that frustrate me are admin/bookkeeping/marketing or any type of business development. All I want to do is photograph and talk to my clients! Editing is also a real drain, especially if I've photographed a wedding. I wrote a post about my wedding photography experience earlier this year.

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

WORRYING. Honestly I tell myself this all the time but when I get into an anxious state the thoughts and threats feel so real it's incredibly hard to get your head out of it. Worrying is the biggest waste of time and it has definitely sapped a big chunk of time from me this past year. It's an even bigger time waster than social media!

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Relaxing, doing things for me, just sitting and playing a video game or reading a book, journaling, watching a funny movie, going to lunch with friends, spending time with Dan. All of these things made me feel better and mentally recharged afterwards.

What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

It's not selfish to do things for myself and I need to indulge and look after myself. Sometimes I have to accept that everything around me will continue happening and there is never a perfect moment. It will never be all done. I won't be happy if X,Y and Z happen or I can't relax only if X, Y and Z are done. I have to accept that and still be happy with things just as they are right now and if I need to relax schedule it in among the chaos.

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

This question is a bit hard so I'm going to share a few quotes instead.

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."